All I could think about was going to church on Sundays and listening to the word, reading the word and surrounding myself with people that loved the Lord as I. I can remember being younger not wanting to attend church, being shy to be around so many people and it was different for me. That first Sunday in January I joined church and accepted the Lord into my life. That was a fresh start in my life and I was so overjoyed and excited to be apart of such a big and great church.
My pastor taught me so much and I felt so close to him so fast. Over the next few months I attended church with my mother every chance I got even if I had to walk to church I would be there and try to be as active in the church as I could. I learned more about Tithing and did my share to serve the Lord the way I knew how.
I studied and read the word a lot. I became a different person for all the right reasons for once. Although still battling other issues in my life I was learning to lean on God more instead of my own understandings of what I called life. One day my mother and I attended church and our pastor was not going to be at our church any more. For reasons I don't want to get into. Very personal. I was heart broken, my mother and I along with people all around cried and screamed in sadness and I was shaking and scared. I had finally moved past my fears of being around a lot of people and joined this great accepting church and the one that I learned so much from was leaving. It was very hard for me and I felt so lost and empty.
How would I get through this, why did this happen like this? To make a long complicated story short. My mother and I was lost and to this day have not found another church home. My soul still longs for the Lord but I fell off a lot from where I was before and it is really sad. I am trying to find God again and it's scary to know that sometimes we depend on MAN more than God when no other MAN should be before GOD in the first place.
I had to remind myself that MAN does not control my destiny but GOD does and although I have reached a hard time in my life I can not stop serving God because of things that has happened. God places us in places for different seasons to give us experience and lessons to make us stronger. God is able and I have been learning that I have to let go and allow God in my life the way it was designed for him to be. I will have a church home soon and I know God has a plan for me.
Things have not been easy for me but I know GOD is a GOD of second chances and this year it is my order to be faithful to my GOD and serve him forever no matter what hard times I reach. I have to keep his word in my heart. I will no longer let others dectate my strength or passion because GOD will never leave or forsake me. With that being said. God allows things to happen for a reason it shows you a lot for all the right reasons even when you may think it's wrong. God places your life in different seasons but hard ones don't last always.
God has a design and purpose for me and I know he will supply my every need. Churches change, pastors chance along with seasons. I can not let that affect my relationship with GOD the one who forgives me and shows me love and compassion. I thought that this Church was where I would be for a lifetime and things changed so it is up to GOD to lead me to my new destiny. I will not talk about what I am going to do I will place action on it.
I hope this helped someone out here in the world. God is a good God and is able more than man. We must learn to depend on GOD and let man come last!
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